I feel like there’s so much I want to tell him (mostly just random non-relationship stuff. He was my best friend)

You couldn’t of said it any better!  That’s exactly how I feel.  There is so much I want to tell her.  So much I want to say.  Just random stupid shit, but I do.  for example, yesterday we got a ton of snow here, i went home from work early and pulled my girls around on the sled with the quads all morning.  All  I could think of was being able to share this with her, or her being here with me enjoying the snow day.  It kills me.  I seriously feel like I lost a huge part when she left that i didn’t even know existed in me until after we met.

The key here is to be gentle with yourself. I’m expecting to have these thoughts and feelings right up until I either somehow end up back together with my ex or meet someone else who gives me the feelings that he did. The same probably goes for you, there, too. You can’t help how you’re feeling. It’s just how you feel. So instead of fighting it, just embrace the fact that you are still capable of loving someone even after they hurt you and that she gave you something you needed, and you’ll probably feel this way until you meet someone else who gives you that feeling you need.

I agree with this too.  I am just going to have to be okay loving someone that isn’t ready or may never be ready or want me back.  Maybe someday I will meet someone that I will be able to love the same or more and I will forget.  Until then, i just need to be okay with it.  I do miss her incredibly though.  She really was my best friend.  From day one.  I will never forget how she made me feel.  Like she awakened something inside me that I thought was just a myth and didn’t really exist in people.  I’m crying again.  I wish so much she could see this, see how i feel and how i have really honestly seen how I did change and that I am a better man and can give her what she needs and wants…

It’s really ironic how my relationship i have now and am trying to resolve/end has really made me see how I was with my ex.  It’s like my girlfriend now has done and behaved exactly how I did towards the end of my last relationship.  Even with the kids.  My ex was having a hard time with her boys, and all i saw was “what about me”  “why don’t you want to spend time with me”.  When really it was that she needed time to get her life straight with her kids and that they do take priority over anything.  Just like my girls now.  They are both expressing to me how they are unhappy and my girlfriend just keeps saying how she is the one who is unhappy and when does she get to be happy.  When she should realize that she needs to back off and give me the time and space needed with my girls.  Very ironic and kind of crazy how this is all happening.  Really  sucks in a big way.  I wish so much that I  could have seen how I was when i was acting that way.  The more and more I deal with my girlfriend now, the more I understand where my ex was at and what she really needed from me.  I just wish i could tell her this and her see that i really do mean it.

well I need to go to work.  Until next time, i’m going to keep on keeping on.  I really do hope things get better.  thanks again