Yikes! 24 times! Yeah, it’s very clear your argument styles do not match each other either. My ex is the same way you are. He has to walk away for a bit to calm down or his mouth gets him into trouble. I loved him so much, I hated to let him leave at first because I just didn’t want to be away from him with what little time we already got to see each other (he also lived 25 minutes away), but whenever I forced him to stay, he did end up saying mean things that he had to apologize for later because he was just feeling upset and spouting off. So I learned to just let him go and come back to the discussion later. You two have been dating for a year and have fought quite a bit, so she should know by now to just let you go calm down… and a person cannot calm down when someone is calling them nonstop. That just aggravates the situation.

I have to add, too, that ever since I started really taking responsibility for everything that’s happened in my life, it sort of frustrates me when other people don’t. You did not ruin her. She ultimately chose to put herself into the position she is in now. She knew you still had feelings for your ex and she stayed out of the hope or expectation that your feelings would eventually change. It was her own expectations not being met that “ruined” her.  As soon as people start taking responsibility for the decisions that lead them into unwanted situations, the sooner they’re able to heal and not put themselves in that situation again. Blaming others gives people an excuse to feel victimized, and self-pity helps no one.

I wish you good luck with this conversation that you have to have. I don’t think there’s any way that she won’t get upset, but after time, you will both likely be better off once out of this situation.