Hi Crawford, I understand how horrible this can all feel. Not being present and authentic in a conversation to someone you love and admire. What helps me is just being completely honest about my feelings, and letting the vulnerable space flow. I wouldn’t say you have to but that is what I do sometimes.

Also, what might help is yoga and writing. I write out my intentions everynight for the next day, I ground in gratitude and I got to bed in a better mood just by doing that. What I’ve noticed is I’ll look back at what my intentions or wants were and they all happened! It has gotten me through and let me focus on the things I do want rather than the things I don’t. (Which is really hard for me I have a good imagination when it comes to negative things but horrible for positive things.)