thank you.

I really think my girlfriend is delusional or in denial about the whole thing.  She is weird, because she says she knows i don’t love her like i did my ex.  and that she doesn’t think i will, but yet she still wants to stay with me.  I’m really not looking forward to our conversation at all.  It just really sucks that she is in the financial situation she is in right now.  It would be so much easier if she could afford a place of her own.

I have to add, too, that ever since I started really taking responsibility for everything that’s happened in my life, it sort of frustrates me when other people don’t. You did not ruin her. She ultimately chose to put herself into the position she is in now.

I agree 100%.  She has told me “you were the one that wanted me to move in”.  When in fact she wanted to just as much or more.  She has said several times about her giving up her place to live and relocating her kids.  Which makes me feel even more guilty and responsible.  She does need to take responsibility for her moving in also.  It wasn’t like we were exactly on cloud 9 when she did.  She should have decided to wait and make sure all was good  between us.  I do take responsibility as well.  I should of never done it, knowing that I still had feelings  for my ex and all.  But at the time, I did think it was the right thing to do.  We all make mistakes.  I guess the hard part is accepting that and taking care of it.

It is going to be so difficult talking to her about all of this.  She still is talking bout things in the future.  Like distant future.  When she does, it makes me uncomfortable because I don’t see the same future she does.  It makes me feel even more guilty.  Even after that big fight we had.  Later that night, she dismissed it like it was nothing.

I think all of this has really helped and then raised questions in me with problems with my ex.  Her and I never fought, we did have a couple arguments, but even up until the end, she was the one talking about living together down the road and having a future together.  Where as now as roles are reversed in my current situation, i don’t.  but yet my girlfriend still does.

all so confusing to me.  It really doesn’t help feeling the way I still do about my ex.  The worst part is that I can’t forget one of the last things she told me when we last talked at the end of December when she told me she thinks about me often.  That really has thrown my heart and mind for a loop.  I guess part of me thinks that if she does still think about me that much that there is still hope there because of what she said.  I know it’s a fantasy, but I can’t help the way I feel.  I have learned that I really need to be on my own until I can get these issues resolved in my head and heart and finally have the closure and know in my heart and mind that “it” will never be with my ex, or if it is to be again that it will happen if/when it happens, that I can’t change that outcome.   I really need to get back to myself, with just me and my girls. I need to make them and me my priority anymore, NOT other people, no matter how I feel about them.

there are several times, that I wish I would have never started dating after my wife left me.  I was alone for 2 years and I was good.  I didn’t have any of this trouble or heartache.  Life does stink some times.  Love definitely stinks right now.  LOL….