This is absolutely the best thing you can do. Just get back to being you and spending time with your girls and see if your daughter notices you’re more “you” after a while. Get in a good spot with the way you feel in general again. Then let love find it’s way to you after that. I don’t think it hurts to hold a little hope alive for a reconciliation with your ex down the road, but also keep your options open, get to know new people with the hope that there could also be someone even better than your ex out there… someone who makes you feel the same way that your ex did (that “home” feeling), who has kids who are already grown and is free to travel and go do fun things, has their life together, and who is ready for a mature, committed, life-long relationship…. that’s what you’re ultimately looking for, right?

I think this is the best thing for me.  Yes, i want someone who is independent, can take care of themselves at the very least and someone that can have the freedom and is able to do things like i want to.

So we had another blow out this weekend.  I tried again to have a good night/weekend.  Well that backfired.  We had a good night, both having fun out by our selves, but then by the end of the night, she got too drunk(again) and got upset at me.  I told her then i am done, that I can’t do this anymore.  That no matter what there is always going to be that doubt in her head and I am always going to feel guilt for doing what I did to cause it.  We got home and really started fighting.  I just dropped her off and left. I went to a 24 hour restaurant and had something to eat and coffee, and ignored her calls and texts.  I did tell her I was fine and I will be home later, but that didn’t stop her.  She threatened to take her own life and said she was really depressed, ect…  It was a horrible night.  We did make up again.  but I have been distant. and not really myself since.  Then last night, we went to dinner with my friends and she read all kinds of shit into nothing.  So of coarse after we got home last night she started talking about it again.

But in the meantime in between fights and such, she acts like everything is okay and keeps talking about life plans and things like that.

It sucks.  I’m almost afraid to tell her that we need to go separate ways.  I really don’t know how to handle this now given what she pulled this weekend.