you make several valid points.  I do need to move on, bad.  I do need to end this thing I have now.  I think what really bothers me is that my ex was the one that reached out to me this last time(last december).  I know i don’t know any meaning behind things she did say, however there are a few things that just keep bouncing in my head.  Why did she say, ” I think of you often” and when i stopped texting, why did she get not upset, but wondering where I went?  It really makes me wonder if she was having second thoughts and was feeling out my situation.  Even though she has a boyfriend( extreme long distance relationship), and she knew i have a girlfriend.

Since then I blocked her on my phones and social media. and supposedly she did the same.  Although I have a hunch if I were to unblock her, that i could contact her again.  I won’t.  But i’m sure I could.

It’s just so very hard.  I’ve never had to deal with these kind of feelings ever.  Every day i think about her, sometimes throughout most of the day.  In fact I cried yesterday.  I do miss her so much.  I was actually driving in my truck the other day by myself and I reached over to the passenger seat like she was there and put my hand out as if she was holding it like we used to do.

How pathetic is that!  God I miss her.  Why is this so freaking hard?  Every time I see a full moon or sunset or go to the beach.  There she is, in my head…  in my heart.

If she were to contact me and want me back.  I would have no  hesitation….  again. how pathetic am i?….