‘She’ is destroying me. ‘She’ is causing the most terrible feelings. ‘She’ is utterly demonic. Today I feel very violent and could easily stab someone. Earlier, I felt lost and burst into tears like a baby. I don’t know who I really am anymore and it is very frightening. I am trying to grab on to anything to avoid a full blown breakdown. It feels like this isn’t my reality anymore. It isn’t my world. I can’t believe this is happening to me after everything I have gone through. And you know what? No one gives a fuck, and they will only finally give a fuck after I’ve dropped myself off a local railway viaduct.

This is my last word on this subject. There is no support out there for this. But I cannot stress to people how totally evil and sick Kundalini really is. It is EVIL!!!!!! I have ‘something’ which comes in through my head and blows my stomach up so much it becomes uncomfortable, and there is also another force which is trying to push itself into my head. It is all just too much.

Goodbye,

Tannhauser.