Thanks again for the well considered response, Anita. It really is helping alot. Your post is eye-opening when put into a bigger picture like this. All of these things seem to have contributed to how I live my adult life, and my unreasonable rate of attachment and fear of rejection/abandonment. At this point though, even knowing these things, I’m not sure what I can do about it. I’m still terribly torn up over this girl. I find myself looking at pictures she’s sent through text messaging, and our conversations and how they conveyed so much interest that she clearly lost once we met. It shouldn’t hurt like it does, but it really does hurt. I haven’t found myself attracted to other women since it was clear that she rejected me, and after just that one night with her, I unreasonably can’t let her go. It’s causing me much pain and suffering, but it’s all I can think about throughout the day. Any time I get a notification on my phone, I still “hope” it’s her finally reaching back out. And in the back of my mind, I know better, but it doesn’t seem to help.

This has begun to effect my attitude at work, and my home-life. I dread coming home to an empty house with noone to talk to (outside of you and people on forums). I’ve stopped cooking for myself, resorting to fast food, my smoking habit has increased, and I find myself on my phone browsing the web on things related to my situation for the 5 or so hours until I go to bed. I hate being like this, and even during the date, I hadn’t expected at all that this girl would have such an effect on me.