well, i tried again about a week or so ago….  then the next day I caved again.  she really knows how to play the woe is me card.  I end up feeling horrible and try to make it work.  every time.   I hate it that I do this.  The fact that she is freakin broke and has no where to go…  UGH!…

I did tell her the other night that if we do separate, that i will still see her kids for awhile.  That I won’t just walk out of their lives.  They have gotten very attached to me.  Especially her daughter.

So here i am, in the same situation.    I hate that I can’t just be a jerk and tell her we are done and stand by my word.  When i tried last time she said she had no where to go and for me to leave.  So I said, “okay, i will be gone by the end of june”  and then she said “i can’t afford this place on my own”  Which she can’t.  My rent is more than 2/3 her monthly income.  let alone other household expenses.

So, i have a question for you all.  Since it seems her not having a place to go if we break up is the big block here.  Would it be wrong if I talked to her mother?  Just me and her one on one and explained to her that I am not happy anymore, that I just don’t see a future with my girlfriend and I anymore.  That things and feelings have changed within me and I honestly see myself happier alone.  And tell her that I have tried to end things on more that one occasion and it comes down to her not having anywhere to go, so we try again.   Then ask her if my girlfriend and her kids staying at her house for a while or the summer is an option until she can get back on her feet?  Or is that something I shouldn’t do?

I really do want to be alone, even just want to date again.  Nothing serious, just have some fun and meet new people.  Be able to enjoy my life again.  Do things on the weekends with and without my girls and during the weeks when I don’t have my girls.  Especially since summer is here.  In my area we only get a couple good months before the weather goes to crap again.  I feel like i’m going to spend my whole summer at home doing nothing, either because of her kids needing watched or if i go by myself or with my girls, then i feel guilty.

Man, I wish that she made a decent living.  Something that she could be able to leave.  It is getting close to the end of the school year and that was another big thing.  Not taking her kids out of that school till the end of the year.    I’m so lost.  I have too much heart to just tell her to be done and figure it out, but yet I know that her staying there is more hurtful in the long run.