Dear Anita,

I like the idea of the ceremony for her departure, it will be very special – for the both of us.

As far as the second part, my sister in fact would be great at describing this.  She would mention this very early on during our vacations, something that I only started seeing later on and recently.  An example would be she would ask me to explain to her the surroundings and what we were doing, so that she could feel she was enjoying.  As in, she would have trouble actually enjoying in the moment, so would want a reference.  Such as, okay little sister we are here swimming in this beautiful ocean having a wonderful time.  I didn’t recall then why or what not.  Looking back it was like this:

My mother would make a huge deal about this vacation we were going on – go on and on how she planned it and how it will be amazing.  Then for literally weeks before the trip she will incessantly talk about it, and even talk about packing (no matter how big or small the trip) when we were younger.  Then when finally say a few weekends before the trip arrive, she is going manic about packing! Making it extremely stressful and terrible.  Lets say at this time I wanted to hang out with a friend, she would scold me and say! We have to pack!

So then I would stay home to pack and get my things out, but she would repack all of our suitcases the “neat and right” way.

Then lets say we are at the airport.  My father has a horrible temper about the service we are receiving (I mean no one likes the airport right) – and my mother is complaining about this and that.  In between she is exclaiming how much fun we will have.  My sister and I when we were younger would be in our own world playing, but of course absorbing this.

Then we arrive, we are immediately thrilled my sister and I. Beautiful landscapes, amazing pool, perfect weather oh my!

But see – see all that was there prior! So how could a kid just simply jump in to enjoy?! i see it now.

And during the trip it wouldn’t stop of course.  Incessant talking about others.  Oh look at that family they are rich enough to bring a nanny with them.  Look at these American people never doing anything on their own, always getting help.  Oh the food here is so good but how overly expensive! Oh look at that other Indian family and how horrible they are dressed – jeez it makes our people look bad!

And of course – lets not forget – the worst of all – TDW example, oh look over there that group of 14, how fun that is.  Too bad our own family can’t cooperate like this.

So anyway all of this is there. And then as I got older I would feel a pressure to enjoy, when innately I likely didn’t feel relaxed.

For example my sister and I were at Atlantis while I was in my 20s and my sister was say 18 or so.  It is a beautiful resort in the Bahamas.  It is geared for families, and especially young children, but all ages can enjoy it.  Anyway, there is a world renowned water slide there. My sister and I had a blast – and then the pressure (didn’t realize it then)

My mother continued to say oh how amazing that slide is! You girls don’t want to go again?! If lets say we were relaxing for a moment.

My sister and I discussed this a few weeks ago.  She recalls feeling stressed not “enjoying Atlantis enough” – and we talked about how we had the pressure to enjoy a water park as though we were 8 years old.  Sure our mother brought us there, but its that underlying pressure to make sure she knew how much we were enjoying that encompassed the whole thing.

As though she wanted to jump out of her adult body and be on that slide instead