Dear anita,

so I put the glue into the letterbox. It is maybe the best solution, even if she doesn’t like it…. I tried my best to make it up to her. Still, I don’t understand why it is wrong to own up to breaking something? Or is it because I am making too big of a problem of a a small thing? Am I creating more problems by doing so, upsetting people? I thought it is best to talk openly about problems, but maybe it’s sometimes best to let it go?

It sounds like a good idea to not talk of the incident anymore. It is resolved now. Anyways, I am moving out soon. But I lent some woodcutting materials to another roommate last autumn and I have to ask them back (they were worth about 80€, so quite expensive). Or I don’t know, should I just give them up?

In the future, I hope to free myself of my fear of what other people think about me. And I want to think more about what I want, instead of pleasing others (of course without harming others). Because if I hadn’t been so sensitive to other people’s (supposed) opinions about me, the last year would have been much easier for me! But maybe I had to go through all this to learn and become more aware of myself. Because I really feel more self-aware and hopeful right now. (even though I still feel sad often).

Today, after work, I also went outside for a walk by the river and I sat down to read for a while. It is so calming for me and it makes my day better. I should do little things like this every day to make my life better! Maybe this weekend I will go to see the ocean for a day. Collect some shells, go swimming, read at the beach. And I always wanted to write a message in a bottle…