Dear Alexandria:

No doubt you and your boyfriend will feel angry again. Anger is a normal emotion all humans and it is not going anywhere. Key is to not automatically react to the emotion with hostile behavior, such as the name calling, yelling, and silent treatments.

Healing from childhoods in hostile homes, be it directly aggressive or passive aggressive, takes intentional work that includes practicing feeling anger and at the same time, not reacting aggressively to the anger. Alternative reactions: taking a walk outside to relax, a hot or  cold shower… then sitting together and talking respectfully about the issue at hand.

anita