Hello anita,

I have printed off the mood log and keep sitting down to do it and stalling. I have been in a downward spiral again these last few days but I find it very hard to actually identify any particular thought- it feels like I have too many, whilst at the same time not being able to pick one out in particular. It all just feels bad, heavy, sad. I have been listening to the Mark Williams meditation and also other guided meditations online. I have been exercising and also doing long walks and journalling but on days like today nothing seems to work at all. I seem to be in a state of crying-numb-crying all day and struggle to focus on anything but the sadness.

I have just come back from a long walk and am about to have a hot bath so I will look again at the mood log then to try and get something written down. I am very scared of my feelings and feel like they feel so bad now. Can I actually cope with facing them by writing about them or ‘sitting with them’. When I try and not distract myself and sit with my feelings I feel like I want to reach for my phone or distract myself with daydreams of a time I felt loved. I think basically I am just scared of actually feeling my feelings in case I don’t like what they say. They already feel bad enough. Do you have any thoughts on how to stay with feelings and not just end up crying and actually work through it somehow and come out the other side? So far I just feel so scared to even look at them.