In the first half of 2018, I was an angry individual because of my job. In 2019 i tried to please my ex and mold myself into her needs because I wanted to show her that I was someone with whom she could have spend with her life with. Things didnt work out but my ex of 4 yrs word’s stuck with me. “You never gave me attention or were that affectionate”. So I carried that to the next relationship without realizing it… and this gf needed space. She was an introvert and needed to recharge. After 2/3 months of not being official, once we became official things started to change in my mind, I wanted to give her more love and attention, while before I wasnt but to my introverted ex, not really prioritizing her was the perfect balance for her socially and work and self care wise. She mentioned that growing up, her parents didnt really raise her, they were too busy doing other stuff. They gave her some toys and practically just fed her. So i guess attention and affection is something she wasnt used to. She seeemed fine with it until the late stage. So it makes sense. But she took everything fine, it was that final month of being in a relationship and me not working that much that led to this path.

I am not angry, we had one normal argument as a couple and mentally she couldnt handle it along with everything she held inside herself. Shes emotionally fragile (which is not a bad thing) im not going to beat myself up for something that was going to happen, we were both under a lot of stress.

She is probably afraid of getting someone upset because her dad mentally abused her when he drank so tries her best to avoid confrotation and avoid any sort of response. My ex gf stuck with me during one of the lowest points in my life. I was angry at the world during the 1st 6 monts of 2018. After that i learned to be more calm and patient and I did a lot of medidation. So i dont think I was angry. I had a simple discussion with her, a simple argument and she was unable to cope with that. Thats normal in a relationship . In 2018, i was mad that i was being bothered. Now, I just addressed an issue. So no parties can be blamed

I appreciate everyones help and input. Ive learned a lot but sometimes when you care you tend to perhaps go a little above and beyond and I was too intense

It just sucks because we promised each other we would do all these wild sexual things ive never experienced (unprotected sex, a threesome, and halloween roleplay) and it sucks not being to carry those out. Thats probably why I am sad and why i am regretting and why i cannot let go cuz it was so sudden and my brain couldnt process. We both have ghosts of the pasts that didnt mesh with this relationship. It’s just kind of curious that the relationship work best when my 100% wasn’t in it. That is what worked for her since she wasn’t so used to the attention and affection. But also my ex’s wishes should have stayed with my ex not with the relationship I establish with the introverted gf. The sexual part is maybe 40% of it but I grew to care about this person a lot in a matter of 4 months. She pick me up from a tough spot in my life and I was more vulnerable at that time because I had given it my all with my ex of 4 years. So I was susceptible and maybe more selfish and didn’t appreciate what I had, but it was when I did want to be more affectionate and give more attention when everything went downhill. It was circumstantial I also wasn’t working much of the time and I was just focusing I’m hanging out with her so I can understand. Whatever happens, I know the reason why things happened. I hope we can be friends with her or something more in these coming months. She has helped me a lot. And that’s why I want to help her. Whatever way I can. Thank you guys, I really appreciate it