Dear Appletree123:

“I feel like I want to reach for my phone or distract myself with daydreams of  time I felt loved.. I am just scared of actually feeling my feelings”-

-in my therapy, the process was a combination of feeling/ staying with my feelings and distracting. My therapist had a scientific approach to therapy, a practical approach. He talked a lot about skills, and having a toolbox with different set of tools (or skills) to use at different times. Sometimes you use one tool/ skill, at other times you use another.

One group of skills he introduced to me was Distraction Skills. So distraction itself was part of my therapy. When you feel too much, too  intensely, you have to back off and distract. Key is to distract in ways that are not destructive.

Why not then play some romantic music and daydream about love? That will calm you, a good thing.

anita