Gosh okay I will look into the twin flame thing just in case but I am the sort of person to analyse and hope and I am scared of going down a rabbit hole of thoughts. Some days I am okay, whilst others feel very emotional. Though don’t worry I got you meant worms haha!! My spelling checking isn’t the best either!

I understand what you mean about dreams. It was just maybe how he was feeling at the time of the dream and he was kind when he said “no regrets” in that he looked kind. He was just telling the truth which is how he always was with me. I woke up feeling very unsettled but also at the same time I was kind of sure it was him in some form. My heart kind of feels there is unfinished business between us but I don’t know it could be wishful thinking. I still feel that kind of connection but clearly he doesn’t so it is me. It is hard to know what is in my head and what is actually real. It just feels like there is lol.

Heavy and dark sounds hard to deal with. I can see why you stay away for now and I guess it also gives you reason to as you know she is not ready to meet you again yet or speak and perhaps when the energy changes then you know it is a better time. Do you feel in your heart you are destined to be together eg soulmates or do you believe you both helped each other but won’t actually be together? You mentioned about finding your life partner after knowing L, do you think that is the case? My person found his life partner after me so that could be the case for you too. The hardest thing for me to accept is that be doesn’t love me anymore. Rationally I know that is true and he told me years ago he doesnt, but my heart has hope. It feels like he does. Even though he has told me and his life now shows he doesn’t. Very weird. I don’t know if it is intuition or just my heart hasn’t faced facts yet!! I don’t know how to get my heart to face facts eg I tell myself over and over the reality and truth, but give me a particular song or even someone who has similar mannerisms to him and suddenly those feelings come back.

Thinking of it in terms of soulmates and some you don’t stay with for life makes it easier for me to deal with I think. But I also don’t know if I am just making it easier for myself as I totally didn’t believe in soulmates or anything like that until I met him. Will do a little Google on twin flames and see how I get on.