To make things even worse, I really feel like everyday that I deal with her, it makes me dwell on my past more and more.

Honestly, John, I’m quite positive it does. I’m 100% sure, in fact, because your horrible situation makes you think of a time when things were NOT horrible, and your default for “one of the best times I’ve my life” has become your relationship with your ex, so you’re going to have a terrible time trying to get over her for as long as your current relationship lasts. I know how you feel, though. I go back and forth, too.

Has she looked into any more government help lately? Again, without putting you down as living with her?  One small paycheck in a 3-person household usually means you can get help through the government.