Dear Anita,

I did help him express himself authentically, you are right, I did.  He does appreciate this.  It is a win-win all around.

It does not “cure” the issue, but it is a step to realizing and understanding the reality of things, and how to proceed next.

Yes, I recall feeling like I wanted to keep the “high.” I made a joking reference that evening to understanding how drug addicts are always chasing that high – as it feels like only highs and lows – that dimmer to neutral is often difficult.  Wanting more of that “feel good.” But of course in the scenarios it isn’t a drug per se, but that good feeling and like you mentioned the desire for more.

In fact, after my nice evening with my friend last Tuesday I felt similar.  After the night, I went to have dinner with my husband.  I was on such an excited “high” from spending some quality time with my friend I was at risk of being frenzied.  In this scenario I did a great job of recognizing this, and the concept of “wanting more” of that feeling.  I snapped back to neutral so to speak in the sense of I had a good win-win dinner with my husband in which I listened and was not frenzied.  It must have worked as when my sister than joined us later – it is when my husband felt comfortable enough to open up to her about the sate of his job etc.

I will recall this experience one in which the dimmer switch was not faulty.

I think though, if I was alone after, say returning to my apartment, my husband still at work – home after an exciting evening, I would have much difficulty turning this off.  It would have been the same as after the event I described, coming home and this excitement “high energy” now feeling like it can’t shut off – and now feels uncomfortable and overly activating.

Doing some slow yoga poses after an evening like that can be of some help – and I guess like anything else, discussing it, and being aware of it.  I am enjoying this conversation actually, because it is not something I would have thought to mention to you until you brought up your weekend.  How important it is to notice so many aspects about ourselves isn’t it.  Sometime exhausting, but always learning.