Dear Anita,

Good Morning!

The reason I brought up something as mundane as deep cleaning my apartment to you – is that this has felt like an insurmountable task for me.  It is something that is obviously a basic task – but as I have mentioned to you – I have had trouble focusing on small things such as putting clothes away etc – my whole life.

I used to say I have ADHD, being able to do something very large quite easily, say write and submit an essay – but go to the kitchen and have trouble putting away the water bottle where it belonged.  Small task avoidance in some ways.  This is not an unknown issue – as many people do write about this – but it sure is a pain.

Over this past year I have tried to become more cognizant of it.  I notice, as always, the state of my mind is the state of my home.

The more frenzied my brain is – the more frenzied my organization is.  All in all our home is always clean and tidy – I am talking about things such as allowing clothes to go unfolded in my drawers, and being frenzied about putting stuff away.

So yesterday I tackled the large task of deep cleaning, dusting, scrubbing, very cathartic – also very tiring.   I was able to do this without any issue! I worked for about 3 hours, and was very pleased with myself and the result.  It sounds so silly even writing about this – but I am glad to know my attention was focused, and now I can go home to a nice squeaky clean apartment.  My husband was glad too when he arrived home.

It is nice to see myself focus on inner tasks.  Tasks that promote my well being, and that of my husband.  I am trying to do a better job of focusing less on the lives of others, and more on my own life.

Inner circle, as you said in July is key.  That wraps up everything.  I hope to continue to practice this.

I want to work on focusing more on my own life, perhaps I will do some exercises in this regard today.

I hope you are having a good morning when you wake up, and enjoy that extra strong coffee.