Dear Anita,

I did want to add one thing to came in mind right after I clicked submit – as this often happens.

I notice that a big reason I didn’t wake up worried or focused about anyone else is the following:

Throughout my life,  I have over-stimulated and over-inundated and over-extended myself.  Not sometimes, ALWAYS.  So much so that it became my normal.  And to give myself space, felt not normal, and felt odd or wrong.

Living in this new space, just like the conversation from the weekend, can feel foreign.  And as you say, it isn’t changed enough if it doesn’t feel odd/weird, or another doesn’t notice it.

So…I notice that I have over-inundated by already full brain with so much nonsense.

S going on and on about frivolous details about her wedding, X talking about this gossip, Y complaining about that.

And I didn’t think to myself ever – wait I don’t have to be involved in this – I HAVE A CHOICE!

I can choose not to respond. I can choose to not engage – to disengage.  And the other person won’t be offended! They won’t care at all! As they aren’t sitting their worried about me/my involvement in the first place – they are just talking! So nothing to feel guilty about! See CC nothing to worry about!

THIS will remove a tremendous amount of guilt, duty feeling, and most of all over-stimulation of the brain.

THIS works –  I will continue.  Disengaging works for sure.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Cali Chica.