Dear Anita,

My goal was to be a good friend, as S was to me.  My goal was to be the super friend.  I also found some enjoyment from these chats, because I had interest in the topic – some fun in discussing.

But..

After the fact perhaps my head was spinning, too many thoughts! See,  I didn’t think I was doing harm.  No, not at all.

But I was.  Why? Because I was overwhelming the CC brain that did not need any more input.  CC brain was already working at max, it needed to hold on to any space left.  But the natural way of CC is to give all space away and do and do and do.

Perhaps part of it is also always having the habit to over occupy myself compulsively, as we have gone over.  Perhaps by over occupying my brain with details such as S wedding,  I didn’t have time to have space and “sit with myself.” It was my habit to do this, and never just be.