Dear Anita,

I don’t know if I understand your first question.  But I know I shared about her wedding and being annoyed at the outrageous price of her hotel rooms for that weekend, and how it wasn’t conscientious of guests.  And how this quality of others, and their lack of awareness of it makes me annoyed. This was back in July this year.

2- I think she is the perfect example of a laid back genuine person.  She is calm and kind and very supportive.  S does not have extremely high awareness of her own self.  This does not take away at all at the quality of her being a superb friend, it is more of an observation of her over the years.  Some may even classify her as slightly “ditzy.” She is go with the flow and doesn’t get worked up about things.  She met a guy to marry after years of dating, and she is glad and appreciative of that.  She is someone who really appreciates people in her life.  she is also someone who lets things go easily.  She has had other friends in her life be flakey to her often, and she is very forgiving, and not confrontational.  In some ways she can be a push over and passive – but this is also intertwined with her “picking and choosing” her own battles.  I don’t find this to be a negative quality about her.  She is very different than me in this way of easily letting things go – and being the “la la la go with the flow type.”

3- I can’t say that I have felt much distance from her even after moving away from Philadelphia as we have always done a godo job of keeping in touch.  In addition she is low drama so there is never any pressure of me feeling I have to do X or Y to maintain a friendship.  Any feeling like that of recent is my own self.  The other thing is that, I know that S and I have many differences, but we still get along so well.  You don’t have to be exactly like someone to get along, we appreciate each others differences in personality.  We always have a fun time together no matter what we are doing, and find humor in so many things.  We are bonded on many things such as yoga and dance, and I do miss the time I spent with her in college on the dance team, that is how we met and became good friends.

4 – I don’t remember feeling angry at her personally for anything she has done.  I do know i have felt annoyed as the first example above states.  But that is a general annoyance at people who “don’t always think about others.”

She has made it such a point that this wedding is on a budget in some ways – but what about the budget of others? I would be worried to ask if others need to spend over $350 to stay at a hotel for my wedding,  I would feel ashamed to ask this of others.  but most people dont worry about such – they focus on what works for themselves.  This is a common theme in life – and it doesn’t make me dislike her, or be angry at her – it is just a human characteristic many people have.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Cali Chica.