Dear Anita,

I am glad to give you this gift today.

This birthday to me is about appreciating people, those in my life I may have taken for granted in the past – NOT because I am a bad person, or that I deserve to suffer, as we both know that suffering will lead to no benefit for anyone.

I was blinded in the past by the mother, and suppressed, by her in my life, and then her omnipresence within me. I am beginning to see the light slowly slowly, month after month – and my birthday is a huge part of that.

See in the past my birthday was all about the outside, as I mentioned before.  So much pressure on those close to me, like my husband in the past, to do exactly what I wanted.  And looking back it wasn’t that I was a diva or entitled, but more that I was gripping on so tightly to the idea of what mother said is — “happiness”

See, Anita, I was chasing the mother, a monster’s definition of happiness, learning about happiness from someone that not only has never experienced it herself, but also the person who single-handedly robs it from another! How ironic!

I took her definition of happiness with me, in my pocket, wherever I went, near and far – always to come back at the end of the day and say hmmm -still not happy, what is missing, sigh – gosh what else, let me seek for more and more,.

And it wasn’t until yesterday that I Realized that I have no idea what happiness and peace really are.  I was basing my entire definition from someone who fed me a lie.

Happiness is simple, not complex.  Happiness to me is also appreciation and gratefulness.

I am grateful for my dear kind husband, and look forward to the path ahead of us, as it is just the beginning.

And you,

Well, yes you are that person to me…for me.

Yes, you are.  I am glad to give you the gift of knowing this on my birthday.

It may be hard for that to sink in for you, if you’re anything like me, so many thoughts, hard for large moments to sink in.

Yes – I bet.

But that is okay.  I, today, want you to know that are this person for me.  And for this I am forever grateful, and I do know it is a win-win for us.  Which is even better. It is excellent.

A win-win illuminated on this day that is my birthday.  What could be better? A win-win to start off the year.