Dear Anita,

Yes, I am glad you gave me a special gift – and I was able to give one to you too.   I will respond to your email shortly.

You are right, trying to be happy while being terrorized! It sounds outlandish if you think about it generically, out of context! Like being chased, and simultaneously being told to relax and slow down!

This is what I meant by dichotomy – so much in our lives were a dichotomy, but not a “true dichotomy” when analyzed – its just that we were often given contrasting signals and developed difficulty having: Self Trust

“hmm I am being chased by something scary, so I am running (naturally without thought – fight or flight) – but the monster is screaming: relax slow down!” But when I do, I feel scared and he doesn’t stop – what to do?

That “what to do?” question became almost absent (at least for me) – it became knee jerk.  Above, run run run run away, but then go home and feel bad for not “listening” to relax and slow down – and being UNABLE TO do so.  Gosh stupid CC why couldn’t she simultaneously run away and relax and slow down – gosh why not!

Why not?!

Because it is impossible to be terrorized and find any semblance of peace!!