I just want to say I agree with Peggy, I think your real problem is that you’re focused on what you feel you don’t have rather than focusing on all of the things you do that are attractive… and I do not agree with Anita that your relationship is dead, necessarily, and I would not say she doesn’t love you. You haven’t really said enough about the situation for us to know that. I want to remind you of this, too:

 She seemed to feel that I was upset and she said she would become more careful about filtering her thoughts, which she has done and which I appreciate. As we talked though she avoided or deflected my real concern that she found me unattractive.

You came to her with a concern and she said she would become more careful, and she has. That is her hearing you. She listened to what you said and responded in a way you appreciated. However, she likely avoided or deflected your concern because she didn’t want to hurt your feelings by whatever she’s feeling, especially once she realized her comments before were hurting you and you were upset, why would she want to hurt you more?

Also, I do think you WERE able to come to her with your feelings because you DID and she changed her behavior. I think that says something good that’s worth noting.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Valora.