Dear Anita,

Thank you for your comments, as well as the break – a valid question.

Can I continue to heal, knowing that she got away with all the abuse – it was nothing significant to her, the NC?

Yes, absolutely.  In fact even more so.  If I had any inkling that she was indeed NOT a pathological human being, a normal non dysfunctional brain, had an ounce of love within her – I likely might not have gone NC (holding on to hope).  Or if I had, I would have wavered back and forth.

I did not.

There are people in this world whose minds do not function like the majority.  Think of serial killers, Ted Bundy and the like.  They are notorious and will go down in history.  But there are many others (on a much smaller scale of course) that float around the world daily.  They lack empathy, love, and remorse.

To me, they are not normal humans.  I use the world “normal” colloquially here of course.

To expect an abnormal human to feel, to grieve, etc – would be foolish, as it is not possible.  I just happen to be born to an evil abnormal human being.

I have dealt with many prisoners as a doctor, as well as criminals of other sorts.  It is not that I am a forensic specialist, but the one thing in common I have seen in my short interactions is total apathy, and consistent blaming of others (whether it be a person, the system, etc).  NEVER taking any ownership of their wrongdoings.  And if they do, it is just to get something else — “well I may have done X, but it was because of Y.  I may have done X, but doesn’t that show you how bad Y is?”

I know this, and once again –  I am not an expert.  But I do know the reality of my mother is this:

She is so terrible, that she had 2 (not 1) go no contact with her.  And to this day if she was on the podium, in front of the jury – she may be hysterical preaching how she is getting old and has no one, but in a split second, would be enraged and angry that she doesn’t deserve this sort of treatment after all she did.  It was all be hysterics.  Never once having true feeling or empathy. Never once speaking a truth (if she happens to it just so happens)

Not normal – pathological.  No way to make sense of it – as it does not make sense.

So to answer your question – the fact that she “got away with it” is in fact no surprise, if you read her whole “story” it makes perfect sense.

And it solidifies the last few years that started off with doubt as perhaps she couldn’t be so bad and it was just a phase, it shows it was all a lie, and uncovers her reality.  Even some serial killers had “relationships” or even children.  Great Degrees, and jobs.  Some even well liked prior. None of that shadows over the evil of their minds.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Cali Chica.