thanks..

I tell you though, it is really eating me alive wondering why in the heck my best friends wife decided to friend my ex considering that she “hated” her so much and who initiated it.  I can’t lie, it really bothers me.  I don’t know if I should confront her (my best friends wife) or just leave it alone.  You have no idea how bad i want to see my ex’s FB page, just to see what she has posted about her Boyfriend.  If anything to help me move on even more. Like if I could see a bunch of lovey dovey posts.  She never did that stuff  with me.

As more time goes on, I really do think i was some kind of rebound for her.  I was what she needed at that point in time to get her out of her slump she was in, but as time grew on maybe she saw me more as a friend.  After all, i never stood up to her like I should have as a man or boyfriend.  I let her walk all over me repeatedly and use me as a “door mat” as she would say.

In the meantime, my current ex is doing everything I did, still texting me, telling me she misses me, how she doesn’t understand, ect.  It’s nice to see how I became( i was the same way with my previous ex), but it also kills me knowing this now, knowing how I thought i was just communicating, when actually when she needed me to leave her alone I was doing just the opposite big time, causing her to pull away even harder.  Definitely a real eye opener.  But still hard to learn from.

relationships are crazy, people and emotions are crazy.  It’s all crazy.  I just hope that someday when I start looking again that I will meet that someone that really is “the one”.  Right now, it’s hard to fathom because I still do think about her more than I should.  And honestly if she was to come back to me, i would have a hard time standing up for myself.  She really is my kryptonite.  The love that I have for her is unreal or unexplainable.  I hate that.  I hate that there isn’t a logical reason I feel like this and that I can’t change it.

Oh well though right??  Still trying to just get back on my feet again.  Just hard is all.  really really hard.