It’s eating you alive because you’re overthinking it. It doesn’t matter if she hated her 2 years ago. People change. Some of my best friends are people I did not get along with well at all in the past but when people grow, that allows them to get along better in the future. They likely just reconnected somehow, maybe ran into each other somewhere, and started talking again and realized they get along better now.  Like I said before, just think of it as a stepping stone. You could ask your friend’s wife about it to see how they started being FB friends but I wouldn’t “confront” her.

And yes, I do know how bad you want to see your ex’s FB page. I’ve thought many times about looking at my ex’s, wondering if seeing him with someone else would help me move on 100%, but it’s a bad idea for me. I know that it wouldn’t do anything for me because my ex was lovey dovey with me right up until he broke up with me, so his show of affection means nothing of his feelings for whatever relationship he’s in and that wouldn’t prove anything to me, and if he’s single, I’d wonder why he never started talking to me again. So nothing good will come of me looking, but if you think it will help you by seeing that stuff and that you won’t dwell on it by constantly wondering why she does that stuff with him and didn’t with you, then go for it. BUT if you DO look and then you start overthinking and dwelling more, that’s an obvious sign to never look again.

It’s possible you were a rebound with the lack of lovey dovey posts for you, especially if she’s done that with her current boyfriend. Literally everyone enters relationships because they are finding something they need in that relationship. If that relationship is only filling a temporary need (like a bandaid for feelings or a distraction), then they no longer feel a need to be in that relationship once that need has passed (i.e., they are feeling better about whatever they were upset about before). You may be still hooked on your ex because she filled a need in you that you now need to figure out how to fill for yourself.  This is why I think you’ll feel better about that whole situation once you start really getting into taking care of yourself and doing things you enjoy. Right now, everything about your recent situation is still reminding you of your breakup with her, but that stuff will get better too as long as you cut contact with your recent ex. Give it time.

 And honestly if she was to come back to me, i would have a hard time standing up for myself.  She really is my kryptonite.

This means she’s toxic to you. I hope you know that.  That’s probably why you aren’t together.