Thank you for the advice Anita. And I appreciate the time taken to do it.

1- I am travelling the next two weeks. I’ll come back and find time with the GP. I’m going to cold Stockholm. And I don’t like travelling or the cold but no choice. I have a gym membership and did go even last month . This month, my work hours are long and I am unable to go but I will go again soon.

2 – mum is doing ok for now. She has no one in the city that we used to live in. I worry about her like she was my child. She is all I have but I don’t know what else to do.

3 – I find myself very alone and sad that I don’t have a child. It just didn’t happen to me. Some of us are meant to lead lives like mine. I have accepted it thought I am still allowed to grieve.

4 – no, I’m not seeing him. He still chats at times but I don’t want to meet him. He knows how I feel and still texts me but he now wants children as his brother had a baby. I encouraged him to move on and find a woman to be with.

5- thank you. I am aware that I am very alone and that no one is around to look after me. Even on a day like today when I’m very tired, hungry and going home in the cold. And crying as I write this on the train. There is nothing and no one. It’s been that way since 2013. Even the GP says all my stress will go away when I am not so lonely.

6 – I have mentioned that I am divorced with no kids and I am 44. I’m sure most men know that I can’t have children.

thank you for being kind towards me. I am fairly invisible and it won’t even matter if I’m not around one day. To anyone. I just feel sad that it’s all my life is worth. In the end, that’s all it is. This year has made me realise how invisible I am. And it’s made me aware how no one really cares. But I’ll go on. As long as I can. And hope that I’m able to find some happiness. Thank you for being kind and for writing to me and giving me advice.