Hello Anita

I’ve had a busy day at work. Hope you are well.

I’ve been a manager of people and teams for a long time now . My teams always like me but they also know that the buck stops with me and that I will give them a hard time if they make mistakes. I work in a male dominated industry but I’ve survived and go on. My peers respect me and that means a lot. I’m not a pushover at work.

So in my personal life, my ex husband would never make plans for us. I had to do things and he would reluctantly come along. And hated most experiences. I organised New Year’s Eve one year and did ask if he wanted to go out. I booked the hotel and dinner and he came along but hated the hotel and said he would have preferred to go to the pub and not spend it with me. It was very sad. I remember crying and wondering why no one appreciates anything nice that I do.

The 39 year old is still a friend and I bought him a gift for his 40th cos he has been in touch during my period of unemployment this year but I know he hasn’t done anything for me in the last 17 months. Don’t worry – I don’t want him in my life anymore but I considered him a friend and wanted to do something nice for him for his 40th. That’s all.

A man has never ever bought me dinner or organised something nice for me. Like a concert or something to do.  And I don’t know why I don’t deserve it. Am I not good enough? I can pay my way and I am independent but why don’t they want to do anything nice? I pay attention and do nice things often. These days, I don’t do much.