Yeah, it sounds like it’s an ego thing for her. You may have dodged a bullet by not being with her, and she may have done you a favor, even though it didn’t seem like it at the time. She seems immature and egotistical, needing attention on her and getting upset when it’s directed toward someone else, even when you aren’t together and that attention is directed toward the person you ARE with. It’s so extremely selfish for her to seemingly prefer you (or her ex-husband) be alone than with someone else, especially when SHE did the dumping, don’t you think?

I think you’re always going to feel for her. You had a connection and that doesn’t really turn off, but at least you’re starting to be able to see her with better clarity now. Just because a strong connection is there doesn’t mean it’s right. Just take from this that you can FEEL that type of connection, but she’s not the only one you can feel that with.

So in the meantime, just keep trying to allow yourself to detach. I think that’s the hardest part. A big part of us WANTS to detach and move on, but with connections like that, an even bigger part of us wants to hold on because it felt so good and there’s a fear that we’ll never find that again. You have to just get yourself to allow that shift, of making the part of you that wants to detach and move on stronger than the part of you that wants to hold on. Allow the desire to detach to come through… every time you feel it, like you’re ready to let go… resonate with it, allow it, and let that desire go stronger. Reinforce it in your mind as the right and most beneficial decision for you.  Then when you feel the need to hold on, acknowledge those thoughts without trying to fight them, but then let them go. Picture them in a boat, traveling down the river… oh, there are those thoughts again, floating past in their boat, and there they go down the river, and you unemotionally let them pass. I think that’s the key.