Hi Anita,

Thank you. I appreciate those compliments. It has not been easy fighting all that I’ve suffered but am also proud that I’ve remained logical. Yes I pray in the New Year things can turn around but I do know I have a lot to grieve and understand.

Thank you I will always need to hear it wasn’t my fault. I think I’m getting more clear regarding my mom but struggle subconsciously with blaming myself for my family relationships and leaving them. I keep going on going over what happened to find something I could have done better. It’s been rough in that area.

I believe my symptoms are also years of abuse and manipulative from my brothers he has always triggered me and I never knew it. I basically lived my life shamed by him and his family. I believe he and my father did this to my mother as well. It freaks me out!

yes my brother truly did a number on me when saying that to me. I haven’t forgave this yet! I’m so hurt by that and other things he did because it makes me believe he has manipulated me through life as well and that is a truth I don’t want to face because it makes me feel like what is the point? Is there a different life of no abuse and real love out there?