Dear Cali Chica:

Good Sunday morning. First topic in your today’s post, my affection for you/ fear of pain the other day, it is not separate from the topic of bpd and your sister. What I do every day on these forums when I read a person’s story, I go into myself and see how it applies to me. The way I learn about people is not by looking at a person from the outside, as a specimen to study in a laboratory. I study the person and myself at the same time, back and forth, going inside- going outside.

Regarding your sister’s life being worse because you went no contact with your parents- this is not clear to me at all, because I read her posts early on, in your old thread, in her old thread,  and I don’t think there is such a thing Worse than what she expressed to me about her life experience before you went no contact.

Regarding: “she said something about how I really need to change, and that even Anita said the same thing.. we’re going to have some sort of intervention with me for my behaviors”- I have zero memory of suggesting to her or agreeing with her that she and I will have an intervention with you for anything. If I did, I’ll be worried because maybe I had a stroke and didn’t know what I was typing away to her and since then forgot all about it, or such thing. What I am going to do after submitting this to you, is go to her thread and look for evidence of a stroke on my part or anything she may have misinterpreted and will get back to you afterwards.

Regarding you bombarding her when you went NC, well, you can think of a financial restitution that you can make so to compensate her for that, much like is done in civil court cases (you can research what would be a fair amount looking at existing records of people’s cases). If you already gave her money or spent money on her, such as paying for her rent, deduct that from the restitution sum. Also, put together her bombarding  you with her stuff and take that off the restitution sum. If there is a net sum owed to her, pay it.

But don’t sacrifice the rest of your life by giving her .. more “equal (?) time” to bombard you!

Post more if you want, I am going to her thread now to re-read.

anita