hello everyone,

I am sorry, I get to a point with these posts I make where I feel so ashamed of them that it becomes painful to return to them and see what people are saying to me. I feel very stupid and ashamed, and although many of you have been kind and dedicated to responding to me, it is still somehow painful for me to see. I guess I do not like reflecting on how stupid I am, and there is not much anyone can do or say to help me feel differently. I would delete this thread if I could and I am very sorry to you all if I have wasted your time. But also thank you, you all seem to be kind and caring people who want to help and I appreciate that that is present in this forum community.

-Janine