Brandy,

I think what you say is interesting because I have  have been journaling about my goals (as well as other things) for a while now. I have bought a new journal at the start of each year for the past 4 years… Even just last week I had a couple entries about friendships and work. I am not sure how to do “one thing” each day for goals like this. That being said, I was fired from my job last night and had yet another friend block me today.

I have other goals less related to others and more individual, but I find it difficult to make any progress on them with the feeling of shame. I know I did not respond to Lara, but something she said was something I think about a lot in this context: “Feeling excluded is very tough on social animals like us humans. It’s a cliché but true that thousands of years ago being excluded from a group meant mortal danger and our body still reacts accordingly”

I find being isolated and rejected by others puts me in an extraordinarily self-destructive and depressive state, while in, there is no goal or hobby or interest that I care about.

I tried doing what you said today. I got out a shirt I have been wanting to alter (sewing is one of my interests) and sat at my sewing table. I made 3 marks on the shirt, and within the next few minutes I was sitting on the floor crying. There was nothing in me that cared about that shirt. I could force myself to alter a thousand shirts, but I would still be just as lonely and unwanted at the end of it as when I started. It sounds dramatic, but it is the truth.