I think from my perspective I am trying to justify a valid reason for everything which I am probably not doing myself any favours by doing that but I just keep coming back to the point that this has just come out of the blue and although I am aware of things now it’s a big shock and I always thought we could work with any issues that came up which is the case from my side but obviously my wife feels the opposite and it was just something that we didn’t proceed with although we both probably wanted to our second child died in 2014 and hit us both really bad as you can imagine but we have always remained strong about it and talked when we needed too and to also be open and honest to our other child about him some friends have mentioned that this might be something that’s affecting my wife now but she hasn’t said anything I am not sure if I should bring it up or not because regardless of everything that’s going on I still care for her in all this and always will which I have told her