I think from my perspective I am trying to justify a valid reason for everything which I am probably not doing myself any favours by doing that but I just keep coming back to the point that this has just come out of the blue and although I am aware of things now it’s a big shock and I always thought we could work with any issues that came up which is the case from my side but obviously my wife feels the opposite and it was just something that we didn’t proceed with although we both probably wanted to our second child died in 2014 and hit us both really bad as you can imagine but we have always remained strong about it and talked when we needed too and to also be open and honest to our other child about him some friends have mentioned that this might be something that’s affecting my wife now but she hasn’t said anything I am not sure if I should bring it up or not because regardless of everything that’s going on I still care for her in all this and always will which I have told her

Yes that’s exactly what I think the problem is she has said that she thinks she has felt this way for a long time which as I think I have said that it’s sad to hear that but even worse that she felt that she could not talk to me and I sit in hope that it is temporarily but don’t hold to much hope with the way she is coming across that she is definitely done with the relationship but then I think that she has her defence up which could be why she is been this way

This is what I have always said that she should have been able to talk to me and also that I do not have X ray vision to know that she had these feelings because she didn’t not show me otherwise and I have said that due to this I would like the chance now I know to work on things I have suggested marriage counseling recently and she has said no I am in the process of having some counseling myself to go through things as you said which I hope will help because obviously my head is a mess

Thank you because I was beginning to think should I have seen something but I haven’t as I have said but yes that is what I am in the process of and like I say I hope she does change her mind but I really don’t think she will but from my side I am just going with Living on my own and thinking of it been that way for the future unless she changes her mind like I say

Yes that’s it she has mainly said the same things but did about 3 times say about trying but as I mentioned to her that when she has said about trying I don’t think she truly meant it but yes I have to just move on now because she is showing no change in anything and like I said I will respect that no matter how hard it is to the thing that gets to me as well is our child that obviously is the one that’s been hit the worst in all this with obviously loosing having both her parent’s there yes she will still have us both just not in the same way it has been I also ask her every so often if she is ok not sure if that’s the right thing to do but feel it’s my duty as a parent to check because from what I see it doesn’t seem to have bothered her maybe it’s not hit home yet I am not sure

I have multiple times that I think she should speak to someone and like I said on pervious messages she said that she thinks she needs to and like I mentioned I have put myself forward to see someone