Dear Anita,

This week has been quite intense.

Last week I was on annual leave, and a couple things happened when I was away that gave me emotional feelings back to what happened in Amsterdam in 2016. (I was given rhohypnol and was still conscious when I saw 2 guys standing in front of me waiting to assault me). Two things happened when I was away, and last Friday I had a nightmare regarding being sedated, and I woke up in cold sweats. Since Friday, I have continued to have cold sweats.

I went back to work on Tuesday, and my new art sessions job wasn’t that supportive, but I was allowed to spend my working hours in the care home. I spent some time in my old friends room and said my goodbye’s. When I came home on Tuesday evening, I had a nap and when I woke up I was in sweats again. I realised that my mental health really wasn’t normal, or good. I was reliving different traumatic events through my bandmates as well and being very untrusting of them.

I spoke with the on-call GP today and she agreed with me, and believes I’m experiencing PTSD symptoms, and I do need to address this past trauma in my life. I am currently looking in to trauma therapy.

Cat