Hello Anita,

I have been doing well overall. I did however cave and went onto his social media. I saw he added back some girls he had stopped talking to and unfriended while we were together. It kind of hit me hard knowing that he’s back to his old ways. I think a part of me was hoping that he might be trying to use this time to work on himself or something. Sometimes I feel super ridiculous trying to always see the good in people. I guess I’m feeling angry more than anything right now. Not that I wanted us to get back together (well a part of me did) but I think it just stings a bit that he’s out there going back to other girls and old habits. I know there’s positive ways of looking at this but I am just struggling to really focus on all of that.

I just wanted to come on here and vent. I don’t want to feel this way. Today feels like it’ll be rough, it’s already affecting my focus on work. I just want to fast forward to a place where I’ve accepted what happened, learned from it, and healed. I think I just feel like I just ran into a wall and I am struggling to see the open door to keep moving. I know there’s going to be hurdles.. but wow I am feeling the sadness, anxiety, and anger all over again. I’ve muted him from everything. I can’t see his stuff and he can’t see mine. I started feeling like I wanted to post things just so he would see. I’ve stopped that, it’s not healthy for me, and whether or not he’s struggling, I wouldn’t wish that feeling of seeing the other person doing well and it crushing me on anyone, even him.