About him being perfect, of course I know he is not perfect, because no one is at the end of the day. When I say he saved me, I mean that I was going through a tough time and he was one of the few positive things I had, that’s why I used the word “save”. I do understand that the beginning is infatuation. That’s what I was — infatuated. I guess I thought it would always be like that but the reality that I am now discovering is that love is not constant butterflies or infatuation, it is a deep connection one chooses to have with the other. I guess when the madness stopped, I got scared because I thought that (like what we see in movies, shows, hear in music) love is always passion and almost being crazy for someone all the time. So when what I thought was love (butterflies, infatuation) faded, I got very scared. Even though the infatuation has faded,  I still know he is an amazing person. I want to be with him even though my mind tries to stear me away from that every time something gets comfortable. I know I love him deep down, the anxiety is just blocking me from enjoying my relationship with him. Now, I need to get rid of the anxiety, to live something peaceful with him. The anxiety is still here, it was quite bad today but I called him and felt better. I do not want to let my fears or automatic thinking patterns take away something so special.