Forum Replies Created
June 8, 2020 at 10:37 am #357940
Looking back I have realized that this was not an issue of butterflies, please, for those on this thread or those who feel like what they are reading here may not be helping them in the long run, please look into ROCD. It is such areal thing. It took me 2 months to realize I had this.May 18, 2020 at 2:09 am #355720
I feel as though there could be so many reasons causing this. I hate myself for having started this, I was so happy. I don’t want it to end but I can’t keep going like this. I feel that I have that I have thought about falling out of love so much that it is actually happening. As if thinking about it made me believe it. You could definitely be right about your statement. I am so scared that I won’t be able to be happy with him.May 16, 2020 at 11:17 am #355390
This happened so suddenly, I just don’t understand.May 16, 2020 at 11:04 am #355384
We have agreed to take some space from each other. I really don’t want to lose this. I am so scared. I think we may have made an error in the way we acted, we spent way too much time together, our entire daily routines felt almost based on the other, we did not have independent lives. Maybe it became too much. What I am wondering now is that, I love him, but am so scared of something this deep and intimate. A serious relationship is so much pressure. I am sensitive and a major over-thinker and I am scared I won’t be ale to handle it. At the same time, whenever I think about if he was gone I am almost in tears. He is so special.May 15, 2020 at 7:11 am #355142
Now I am so confused, I have moments where I am calm and I know I love him and then some moments that make me think I want to break up (I am having one right now). I keep crying because I don’t want that but I am so scared I won’t be able to get passed this. I love him so much and just do not understand.May 14, 2020 at 11:41 am #354980
I would not say the anxiety is gone — at all. But I definitely have a better understanding.May 14, 2020 at 11:34 am #354976
1. I think I am still startled by the entire idea that I am not meant to “feel” love, rather that I just should know it. During this month of anxiety, I really fueled the thought of not loving him.
2. He said he would never leave me, and really we did not say anything new about the situation, just seeing him made me feel better.
Where should I go from here? I am still a little lost I think.
Thank you so much for everything already, it has really cleared the air!!May 14, 2020 at 9:37 am #354944
About him being perfect, of course I know he is not perfect, because no one is at the end of the day. When I say he saved me, I mean that I was going through a tough time and he was one of the few positive things I had, that’s why I used the word “save”. I do understand that the beginning is infatuation. That’s what I was — infatuated. I guess I thought it would always be like that but the reality that I am now discovering is that love is not constant butterflies or infatuation, it is a deep connection one chooses to have with the other. I guess when the madness stopped, I got scared because I thought that (like what we see in movies, shows, hear in music) love is always passion and almost being crazy for someone all the time. So when what I thought was love (butterflies, infatuation) faded, I got very scared. Even though the infatuation has faded, I still know he is an amazing person. I want to be with him even though my mind tries to stear me away from that every time something gets comfortable. I know I love him deep down, the anxiety is just blocking me from enjoying my relationship with him. Now, I need to get rid of the anxiety, to live something peaceful with him. The anxiety is still here, it was quite bad today but I called him and felt better. I do not want to let my fears or automatic thinking patterns take away something so special.May 14, 2020 at 3:05 am #354904
I am just so mad at myself, I have the most perfect relationship with the best guy and we never fight, yet I still found a way to mess things up. I am scared we will not be able to go back to normal.May 14, 2020 at 3:02 am #354902
I have been doing the CBT and it has helped, but I still feel the anxiety. I am very scared. Because it is always so present I can’t even enjoy the relationship and I am scared that during the time I try to work through this I will fall out of love anyways. I want this to work so badly but there is still something blocking me. Do you think this could have anything to do with confinement? DO you think taking a break would be beneficial?May 12, 2020 at 5:53 am #354586
That is the thing, I never had real issues with my parents. They were just never there for me the way I would have liked (for example, advice on friendships, stress etc…). They have supported me in my schoolwork a lot but never in a personal way. The only thing I could maybe think of is the fact that my dad is quite quiet and never really tried to get involved in my personal life, my mom did a bit more but when I was about 10 she started a new job that totally consumed her, I barely saw her. She was always in a bad mood and the slightest thing would make her mad. So, I developed a distant and cold relationship with her. But I know she loves me and has good intentions. The CBT looks very interesting, I will look into it. Thank you! Will get back to you.May 12, 2020 at 1:30 am #354570
Maybe that is normal, the anxiety needs time to leave?May 12, 2020 at 1:23 am #354568
Yes, we spoke and he says that he will accept me and love me for whatever way I choose to act with him. Thank you, that helped. But why do I still have the anxiety, what constantly seems to be happening is that I get the feeling and then I seem to correct myself in my head like “stop this you know you love him”. I really do not want to lose this relationship. This happened to me in my previous relationship too, it is definitely something internal. I just want to be peaceful w him.
thanksMay 11, 2020 at 3:24 pm #354498
A fear that I do not feel love anymore (the way that I used to), I still do have some moments, that last just a few seconds where I realize I am so grateful to have him and that I love him. Therefore, I guess I am scared that I will never be comforted by those butterflies that I used to feel all the time, they reminded me that I love him. Now they are gone for the most part, which then leads me to think that I do not love him (which I really do not believe to be true). I am scared of not loving him and of losing him.May 11, 2020 at 3:08 pm #354494
No I am not scared of anything on his part, he is wonderful and very patient w me and the whole situation, I know he loves me. I am scared of the fact that I don’t feel what I felt during the “honeymoon phase”, I have a hard time accepting it is over even though I know it is totally normal. I fear I will lose feelings, but I know I love him, deep down, I want no one else. I just can’t get the anxiety to go away. Tell me if this was not helpful, I am not sure I totally understood.