Yes I had a moment back in April where my feelings regarding the muse my brother did was overwhelming and a friend of mine suggested to just call and not assume what to expect so I did. Yes I had a moment back in April where my feelings regarding the muse my brother did was overwhelming and a friend of mine suggested to just call and not assume what to expect so I did.  She was very supportive she was shocked and I was in a really bad place and she can tell so she’s fine you shouldn’t be alone I will buy you a ticket and you can come stay with me for sometime. At the time Covid was happening so I was resistant. We spoke for a few days after and I haven’t been in contact since. I think it’s just the fact that I never forget what she did to me back when I lived with her and also my anxiety just making me believe I’ve got abused again and feeling terrified. It is so confusing because I know more than anything I need some kind of love and Connection in my life. But I need to feel it and not just be so logic I need to feel cared about again. All I have enjoyed is stress upon stress with no human contact or hog or assistance or anything. It’s just been me going through hell. I’m not really sure what my next step is but I need to do something.