Dear Anita,

1)
I will begin by replying to the last question, about the contradiction between my two replies: The best answer I can give is that by “the world outside my home” I referred to other places outside my hometown or country (but not just any place, of course). On the other hand, it’s clear that I see my hometown or other similar places as being more dangerous as they actually are. Nevertheless, all I’ve said about those bullies is still true today. I feel that one who is physically strong and brave can face them without problems, and would not describe the place as being dangerous, because even if the law enforcement is not defending them, they know that they can trust their own physical strength. But for someone like me who is not physically strong it’s harder because I personally feel that I cannot rely on either the bullies’ (almost non-existent) fear of the police or my (also non-existent) physical strength to inspire fear inside them. People would tell me to defend myself. But I just can’t imagine that scenario working. The way I see it is that if I hit back I will be hit back even harder and the one suffering the damages will still be me as the bullies would not be punished by the law (or they would not care about being punished).

If you are not satisfied with my answer, please ask me additional questions.

2)

In previous posts you wrote:

“I want you to, take on your emotional learning journey as the leader: show me the way in this journey of yours. You figure out what these quotes mean and what is helpful for you to do next (not just to think, but to do)…… Pick any one quote that makes you feel a particular way, a feeling that calls you to look more into the quote, and respond to that quote, or to part of that quote.”

“I felt I belonged to the world I was part of”    and    “In kindergarten things were good, I enjoyed playing with others and I felt that they did too with me”    –     maybe the most powerful lines of all. It’s what I’m still confronting with today. I remember feeling accepted and having a sense of belonging. I felt I knew how things worked. I knew that if I do X I will get Y. But now I feel I don’t know how the world works, and I’ve lost that sense of belonging. But I cannot fulfill your second requirement and write what I should do, because I don’t know. I can only tell you what I think. I think I should try to keep looking for my place in the world, and I think I should move away to a different part of the world where I feel I might find it. Sometimes I have moments when I envision the whole thing and I really think I can manage and make it, but then I’m being reminded of this feeling of not being wanted or needed, which takes my hopes and courage away.

3)

And regarding The Neverending Story:

I liked the idea and the message of the movie. I especially liked how “the Nothing” represented the lack of imagination, and I think it can be extended to lack of hope, lack of people doing things they want and like. It’s a very powerful element, which I often see around me, because so many people give up all the things that they like or want in order to adhere to a lifestyle that actually takes away the beauty of life.

I’m curious what in the movie has had such a strong influence on you that it managed to motivate you to begin your journey?