Dear Christiana Moore,

You have had some very good replies with lots of suggestions to help you deal with your emotional distress.

I don’t believe that it is healthy to carry your hurt with you until you can confront the abusers.  The letters you wrote were not well received but have you thought of writing individual letters to all your abusers but instead of sending them, hold a ceremony to release your words into the Universe.  You can do this by setting them on fire, safely of course, and make a statement that you are releasing all your hurt and pain to the Universe instead of keeping it locked away inside yourself.

You say that you touched the surface of your pain with meditation and crystals.  This is good, very good.  Clearing the surface will allow other things to come up and you will then be able to deal with them.   Sometimes it is like peeling layers off an onion.  You remove one layer and another one appears from underneath it, no longer hidden from sight.

It might also help if you were to have a talk with your inner child.  Tell her that you love her and that you (the adult) will do your utmost to see that no-one ever harms her again.  Keep reassuring her that she is safe now.  Send her as much love as you are able to and gradually your pain will ease.

Anxiety issues can frequently be overcome by learning correct breathing techniques.  It sounds too simple doesn’t it.  Meditation might have taught you this, i don’t know, but if you put your hand on the area between your lower ribcage (your solar plexus) and breathe into your hand until you can feel that area rising, you will be breathing more fully and your anxiety levels will drop if you practise this on a regular basis.  Ideally, this should be your normal breathing pattern.

It is worrying that you are not able to speak out when someone is causing you harm.  You need to address this as soon as you can.  It may help you if you can take some assertiveness training to give you more confidence.  A simple “please don’t do that” might be all it needs sometimes.  You can practise this in front of a mirror at home until you feel that you have some authority in your voice and maintain eye contact when possible.

I sincerely hope that you are able to overcome your difficult start in life and wish you all the best for the future.

Peggy