@Tim you’ll be missed, hoping everything is good with you. Speak sooner rather than later I hope!

@Shelbyville I’ve appreciated your advice so thanks I’m sticking to the runs/daily walks and it is helping tremendously my consumption has dwindled significantly.

@Kkasxo hasn’t been on for a while 🙁 I can offer some thoughts which may help in the meantime, you’ve helped me loads and everyone says I offer good advice to others just not myself. Go figure!

This company hired you and I’m sure it was a rigorous assessment. They assessed your skills and potential, I think you are just being harsh on yourself and your own abilities. Just need to believe in yourself however the work life balance thing is something I understand, if a job was making me that unhappy no matter what the consequences I live by the rule change something or quit. I’d vocalise my concerns about the hours ask for adjustments, life is too short to be in a job which makes you feel miserable especially when the majority of the week is spent at work. I love my job it is the only thing which is keeping me sane through this all. You don’t want a job to add to your issues!

How long have you been seeing this new guy? Are you exclusive or casually dating two people? If it is casual then serious talk is a big no-no. If you are exclusive I’d say maybe pull back a little too, try to keep it light and not apply pressure and take it day to day and let it be. Not worry so far ahead, maybe you are over analysing and self sabotaging by allowing your doubts to control the situation. You said it seems to you he is vague, in what way? An objective view may help reframe the situation.

What makes you feel needy or insecure?

I don’t think you should ever try to be someone different, what would be the point, our true selves are revealed sooner or later our partners see our warts and you want to be accepted for them, not living in fear of being dumped when they see something real. I was always me with my ex, for a long time I thought that I wasn’t enough but lately I’m reframing it, he was not right for me because he didn’t accept all of me. Do you think as Tim did initially once out on the dating scene (wheres a man when you need him) you may be chasing validation from the wrong people, that is where you are going wrong?

I think you are going back down the road of questioning your worth and letting Martha? win, stand up to your inner critic. You are not neurotic. You are lovable, Many months ago remember you were in your owns words totally being yourself and someone new (even if it didn’t work with him you’re still friends) you still found it incredible that someone appreciated your warts and all and he made you feel golden. So you are loveable.

Trying talking about it on here or to a friend it may just be your mind trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Breathe and believe in yourself x