Hello @Sheelbville.

I had a recent break-up (that I wrote about in other topic – https://tinybuddha.com/topic/after-break-up-trying-to-change-relatipnships-patterns-and-overcome-rejected/) and I’ve been reading the rest of the forums and your posts.

I read your last posts and I’m really sad you feel this way.

I understand the fear of rejection, as I have it too.. maybe we should change how we look at it.

Maybe one way of dealing with it could be – you don’t have to look at his behaviour as rejection. You are not still committed yet. If he is changing, if he is not behaving how you would like him to, thank he is not the one good enough for you. Maybe now is right time for you to overcome this, to stop this pattern. Maybe you should really try to do it now.

“For the past 24 hours I have done nothing but think about this and I have tried to go about my daily business consistently saying to myself ‘it’s okay, if he’s not for you, that’s okay” – I kow it’s hard (hey, I’m just experiencing it), but maybe you should try to relax and think about what to do – in the morning, if you drink coffee or tea, just enjoy drinking that cofee or tea (like the article from the blog about drinking tea), if you wash the dishes, try just to do that. And when thoughts come let them be. Try to look them as just an observer from outside. Maybe just now is the right time for us to overcome this and realize we have all the love in us.

I Know, we can try, and then we will forget and thoughts will come again – but then again, we can try it again.

Also, if you relax, maybe everything will get better – with him or with someone other, if not today than tomorrow.

They say life will give us lessons untill we learn them – maybe you could use this as an opportunity.

If he is so lazy that he can’t even send you kisses when you write him last night – how can he be good enough for you, if that is how you want him to behave? Maybe really, it would be better for us who fear rejection, to not look as partners like someone who we need to prove ourselves – but see how we feel with them.  My good friend lately also had a brief “fling” with a guy who she saw was not immature enough – and she said to me “His maximum (what he could give to her) was less than my minimum (that she excepts).” And she broke it up.