Hi @Shelbyville,

Thank you for replying. I’m a mess today. Crying over stupid things because I’m run down and definitely hormonal! The new exercises and running delayed my cycle, and I stupidly found myself worrying could I be pregnant? Absolutely impossible! Then I worked myself into a frenzy; I’m never going to have children! Missing him, wondering what our kids would have looked like even thinking if they would have had his blue eyes or my green, etc etc etc! How has this even happened? 🙁 Why can’t it be once you are over something you are over it! Linear!

I’m also aware because I’m ill, I have more time to think and this whole new Lockdown rules have been getting to me. People who would make me feel better can’t even come over. Although I’m ok with being alone, it is so lonely and depressing when ill. I just want some warmth from my rocks.

What worries me is without distraction from work, running, socialising, helping over this forum does that mean my thoughts haven’t been dealt with?

Anyway, hows your anxiety? Are things continuing to blossom, is he engaging better now? I hope you are well. Some respite from my shit thoughts today would be nice!