Hi anita

She moved out on Friday. Yeah it’s very fresh and a change which I never though would happen. It will take some time to adjust. Think it’s worse because it’s the weekend.

Yes I expressed how I feel for L to a good friend of ours and he showed her the message or discussed it with her. Which then she was annoyed etc. Then led to her not wanting my help. The other friend that she works with said to her when she said I was helping her. Said would that not seem to be leading Karen on. To be honest I think that friend she wrks with does fancy her. Think that’s why she might be saying that.

Yshe say shes never been so happy just now inside and out. Not sure if it’s a bit of a front. She is happy as job wise and her flat has worked out etc. Then her mum messaged asking for money. Only time family gets in contact is when they want money. I said u need to say no as that’s only time they get in contact and she did say no.

I got L a gift for when she leaves the army. I gave it to her a few weeks back as when she left I didn’t know when I would see her. It was a box personalised with her regiment and army number where she could put sentimental things in. Aswell ad photos from different stages in her army career. I had given her the box. Photos I added to that box and she found them when she was unpacking the other day. She left the room and got upset think because it was a thoughtful gift that I had done for her and also she is finding it hard to deal with her emotions about leaving the army. It’s a job she loves and doesn’t want to leave. So it’s understandable.

LL is always making the effort with her family. Thyw anger me because they don’t make effort unless they want money.

She should never feel in debt to her family at all she is where she is in her career and life because of her and only her. They never supported her at all. She tries with them for the love she never got in childhood and adulthood. I agree i with you about debt she does feel if someone helps her she owes them I helped her the other day etc and she said I owe you. No you don’t I helped you because I care for you I don’t expect anything in return. Think that’s why she doesn’t want help. She wants to rely on herself. Doesn’t want to owe anybody. I helped her because I care and love her. I put my feeling aside a bit to do that because I care about her so much. Yes it was hard because when putting furniture together and her asking what I though about the furniture it made me think that’s what we should be doing as a couple. But I had to switch of.

Yes I be glad for you to discuss. Me discussing is helping me a great deal which I am very appreciative of.

The note she found was from 6years ago and I generally didn’t know was still there.if I new it was there it would have been thrown out. It doesn’t matter that it was written 6 or 10 years ago u would think it was written yesterday. There is no feelings towards my ex. I am so happy for her and her new relationship. Maybe it did make her feel less sspecial but like I said it was from years ago. I just dont understand why she would bring it up at all. Esp whe. She finished the relationship. Also I never cared for my ex the way I do for L. With L it has been so different on every level. With L I found true love and my soul mate.

Thank you anita