Dear anita,

it is sad, that we were not able to learn these things in our families. Worse, our self-esteem was weakened. In my case, I think my parents didn’t understand much about how to raise children or they had their own issues… Sometimes I think it would be better, if people went through psychotherapy before having children.

It is true, my “no” wasn’t considered very much… So I couldn’t learn these things. Then it’s no wonder I wasn’t able to defend myself against someone who was so aggressive in crossing my boundaries… At least I have now learnt to empathize with myself, instead of shaming myself further! I am thankful that therapy is available to me and that my second therapist is so competent!

I guess you are right, we have to live with these bad experiences. For me, thoughts about what happened still comes up from time to time. Sometimes I think about making a graphic novel about it… But I also don’t want to expose myself too much. Still, I often think about these topics like sexual consent, virginity, how victims of sexual assault are treated. Why is it the way it is? At least I want to read more about it.

The dormitory man actually said to me that he was treating me so well. He also said that women in Afghanistan are treated well and that he wanted to make me happy by sex… My conclusion: he was a very confused man. I could see that and also that he was suffering in some way, so I felt a bit sorry for him. But he treated me so poorly that I should have just given him a kick in the ass (not literally) and left him and never opened my doors for him again!

Yesterday I went for a very long walk, but it was not such a good idea. I am feeling very tired now and it also feels a bit like a bladder infection or something. It was too cold and I should have worn warmer clothes. Well, I am feeling o.K., but I should be more careful next time! I think I will take a long bath now.

Are you going for your walk again today? If so, better wear warm clothes 😉