Yes , somewhat distressing but like you said without distress sometimes peace can not be found. But overall, everything you have said until now has made complete sense. One thing I would say though is that even if people did find out, (other than the people I have told), I don’t think would feel like a fraud because I know deep down it was a mistake (a unpleasant one) , yet never the less a mistake. And at the time, I was a stupid kid. But I have full confidence that my friend will never tell anyone (btw we do not have mutual friends) but we have been friends for quite some time now.

thank you , I appreciate you taking the time to help me out immensely.